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| Courtesy of Microsoft |
This post will not, however, contain my personal situation details, for part of the deal I made with the Beloved Braveheart, Now of Blessed Memory was that finance specifics were taboo on the blog. This post will, further, not contain any legal advice. I am not an attorney, nor do I play one on television. Yes, I do have relatives who are attorneys, but they don't help me with my posts: As Braveheart said, "That sweet little woman rolls her own!" (meaning that I do things my own way, not that I make my own ciggies [I gave up smoking many decades ago, Deo Gratia.]). Everything I write is of the "woman-to-woman" genre and should be taken as such.
When a couple divorces, as a general rule, the assets and the debts that were acquired during the marriage are divided 50/50. Exceptions exist, but that is the general rule.
When a member of a couple dies, as a general rule, all the assets that the couple held in common become the property of the surviving spouse. (That's why I receive FB friend requests from men of whom I have never heard. They think that I am rich or, at least, have some property.)
Doesn't that sound fabulous?
Surviving spouse takes it all!
Woo with a side of hoo!
Here's the rub: The surviving spouse, as a general rule, also has to deal with all the debt from the marriage, including the deceased spouse's medical debt, which can easily run into the six or seven figures. Let me give you two situations with the ladies' details disguised.
1. Linda is a widow in her 70s. Her husband was in good health until a year before his death when he had a stroke and had to be placed in a skilled nursing facility. Although Medicare was quite generous with payment, Linda was left with debt of approximately a quarter of a million dollars. Fifty percent of her Social Security is taken to meet that debt as there were insufficient assets to do so. She lives in reasonable comfort and safety in a van that she parks overnight in rest areas, hospital parking lots, and residential streets. Her vehicle blends right in, and she has only been moved along by private security when she inadvertently stayed in a "too posh" neighborhood.
No, she does not qualify for any welfare funds or food stamps, for her entire Social Security income is taken into account when calculating benefits, even though she can prove that she only receives half that income.
Yes, Linda has family and a handful of friends. However, she does not want to overstay her welcome now, when she can still look after herself, because she will probably become dependent in the future. Linda, like many widows, found out that people she thought were friends were not able or willing to be part of a support system.
2. Brooke is a widow in her 20s. Her husband was active duty military when one of his major organs began to fail. After waiting for just a few months at a teaching hospital, her husband received a donor organ; alas, six months later, the transplant was rejected and her husband died at the age of twenty-two, leaving a Brooke and one child.
This precious young man also left $1.1 million in medical debt that was not covered by their insurance. In addition, Brooke had accrued $40,000 in living expenses for the time she needed to rent someplace to live near the teaching hospital, for food, and for childcare while she was at the hospital with her husband.
Since he was retired medically from the military, Brooke did have some life insurance that paid down the debt somewhat and she receives a Social Security benefit for the care of their child. There was a mistake in the paperwork when her husband was retired medically, and she doesn't receive a widow's benefit from the military.
Brooke works to pay her husband's medical debt. She and their child live in a 1990s Class C RV that her parents bought her so that she wouldn't come home to live. They could see that Brooke's situation would be long-term and could not make a commitment to having two people join their empty nest household on a permanent basis. Plus, they live in a 50+ community that they love, so they would have had to sell up and move in order to accommodate her.
Brooke parks the RV where she can. The local police recognize her, know her situation, and don't ask her to move along unless they receive a specific complaint from a citizen.
Brooke does not qualify for any form of welfare, including Section 8 housing, because of her work income and her Social Security income, even though she could prove that her work income is paid to her husband's medical debtors every month. Her credit rating is shot, so even if her income were high enough to be three times the monthly rent of an apartment and she was able to save up first and last month's rent and a deposit, Brooke would be disqualified due to poor credit.
Linda and Brooke both have roofs over their heads, but they are considered homeless because they do not have a permanent residence. The van and the RV are both reasonably attractive and are kept clean and spruce. Linda and Brooke are well-educated women of middle class upbringing and values. They never dreamed that they would be homeless.
The experience of these two women mirrors my own in many ways. No, military members do not routinely have "free medical for life." I have seen that happen, but most of the military families of my acquaintance have struggled with some level of medical debt when a family member fell seriously ill or was injured.
My family is grateful for the roof we have over our heads, and because I tend to be optimistic, I believe that someday soon we will have a permanet residence of some kind (with a violet or two, my friend from Scotland?). We almost had one in the autumn of 2018,shortly after we became homeless, but an old relationship of mine intervened.
Stay tuned...
Agape always,
Cynthia
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