24 March 2017

Femininity Friday: You, Tarzan; Me, Jane? (Not for the youngsters)

Image Courtesy of Microsoft

A couple of "Femininity Fridays" ago, I shared two short videos, one of which featured an FW student showing and telling what she would have done regarding a tricky situation before and after her FW class. In her "after" situation she said that she would leave a note on the bedroom door: "You, Tarzan; me, Jane.  Let's swing!"  

An intrepid reader wrote to me with this question:  

"Wouldn't leaving a note like that be too aggressive?" 

I perceive that the appropriateness of the note is a problem with audience identification.  Please let me explain.  Is every book right for every reader?  Is every speech or performance suited for every audience?  No, of course not.  Well, it seems to me that would hold true for husbands and seductive actions.  Wives need to consider their respective audiences (one's own Mr. Husband) and tailor the message accordingly.

Let me share an illustrative example from my own marriage to the Beloved Braveheart.  One afternoon about a year and a half into our marriage, I watched a talk show while I folded laundry.  The topic of the show was "Adding Spice to Your Marriage."  Now, Braveheart was a veritable human spice rack in that regard, and I needed no such information.  However, in the interest of broadening my life experience, I continued watching.  One of the experts made the following suggestion (and I am paraphrasing): "The next time you and your husband are on the way to a party, when you are about halfway to your destination, say to him, 'Oops!  I forgot to put my panties on!'"  The studio audience gasped and giggled nervously while I pictured the scene in my mind...

We're heading down a major highway toward some shindig or another.  I lean over and breathily deliver my supposedly spicy message.  Immediately, Braveheart breaks every traffic law known to man in order to do a 180 across the median and we head up the freeway toward home at breakneck speed.  "What do you mean, you forgot your panties?  How can an adult woman forget to wear underwear?"  The steam coming out of his ears starts to fog up the windows.  Thereafter, every time we leave the house, every time he calls me, every time he e-mails me, Braveheart asks if I remembered to wear my drawers.  

No, no, while some men might have appreciated a message about missing lingerie, my husband would have thought I was losing my connection with reality!

It's the same thing with the "You, Tarzan; Me, Jane.  Let's swing!" message or Marabel Morgan's idea about flashing one's husband on Hallowe'en.  Some men would love the actions; others would be turned off or would call 911.

I hope that my little "woman-to-woman" ideas have helped.

Agape always,
Cynthia

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2 comments:

Dawn said...

Your story is too funny. I remember hearing that bit of advice, too. It would be my luck to do that and then get accidentally exposed at the party by tripping over something that I would never chance it. Or, heaven forbid, get into an accident. That would be worse than not wearing clean undies. haha

Another one was to greet hubby at the door wrapped in nothing but plastic wrap. I'm sure my husband would've more puzzled than titillated.

Cynthia Berenger said...

Dear Dawn,

The cling-wrap greeting idea was another from Marabel Morgan, a woman who, according to Julie Neuffer, was one of Mrs. Andelin's protegees.

I agree with you; the "no drawers" idea is just too risky. I am, fortunately, not given to tripping over things or having my skirts blown about by random breezes, but if I were to go without, that would suddenly change, I'm sure.

Agape always,
Cynthia